There are plenty of things that I could say I can be pretty OCD about, such as: how I organize facial care products, my closet (I did spend 17 years in it so you could imagine how clean I like to keep it), my furniture…etc. Everything just has to fit into its proper place until it feeeels right, You know? I go so far as to putting my friends into imaginary little boxes with neatly printed color coded labels that I can keep track of; a little crazy maybe but I have good reason.
Since coming out Ive had many gay friends some of which Ive kept tightly close to me others which I have put in my recyclables box or purposely lost track of. In many of the gay social circles I have come across Ive noticed that theres many a times an unsaid understanding that it’s ok to sleep with each other within that same group of friends. I for one can’t make that disconnect, once I have you in my friend box, thats where you stay. I can’t hook up with a friend and wake up the next day and grab a movie without it meaning something more to me. This becomes an issue when meeting guys off dating apps, many have the preconceived notion that meeting for coffee off an app such as GRINDR means 1) that Im interested in more then friendship 2) that I want to sleep with you (even after I specify that we are meeting for coffee as friends). What happened to just meeting someone for coffee as friends? This doesn’t mean I can’t shuffle someone from one box to another but that takes time. I really enjoy getting to know my friends all the way through which in turn can lead to a meaningful relationship. Sometimes I meet guys and automatically put them in the friend box and they get mad when I don’t try and pursue them or allow their advances. Sorry Felicia you’ve been processed and sorted into my little pastel green box labeled “Friends/Potential to be recycled”.
I tend to divide everyone into 5 boxes: Friends, Dateable, Best Friends, Friends/Potential to be recycled (These are the ones you give a second chance to because you see their good qualities), and lastly my “why is this person here uuughhh?” (everyone knows that last one very well Im sure, thats the person that your nice to but…laughs really ugly, has an emotional breakdown after 2 vodka cranberries, the person that never realized they were talking shit while you were behind them and you walked away and made a mental memo, the one who annoyingly seeks constant approval from friends “Im cute right?” “go like my selfie!” …you get my point. So you smile and nod when you see them, but remember to stay cordial regardless.
Then theres my last box which isn’t really a box…. Its more of an overstated gesture with a neck roll. These are the people you meet and your pretty much like “BYE FELICIA!” Your glad to have known them for the amount of time it took you to say “BYE FELICIA!” reclusively to yourself. Whatever box I place someone in, I know that I will always show respect for that persons existence, acknowledging that everyone is on their own personal journey in life regardless of how rude or kind they are. This is a trait everyone needs to attain, holding on to negative energy is detrimental to anyones personal spiritual success.
#FeelingKitty (not as mean as catty haha)