The Affirmation

Every now and then we make decisions in life that can seem to either be for better or for worse; that edge you need to “Jump off of” is what everyone seems to lend as advice when you’re in the midst of making a monumental decision.  Most recently I made the decision to move to another state for the prospects of a professional and personal advancement.  The 25 hour drive with my little girl Brie, a.k.a. Bonquisha when her hood side comes out, was stress in itself, thankfully hood rat didn’t come out and she was my cute little Brie the whole way. Walking into my 490 sqft apartment I’d be lying if I said I was not stricken by an  immediate homesickness; going from 1700 sqft to 490 sqft was an interesting feeling to say the least. Brie was still in a state of anxiety, she was a rescue dog that was found as a stray, and if I was out of her sight for more then a minute she seemed to be in a panic mode that only Xanax and a bottle of wine would calm down. As quickly as my internal emotional storm thrashed within me it soon lay to rest after a restless night that included a very insightful dream.  Ive always had dreams where Ive seen future events that have stepped into reality as well as dreams that visually break down my current reality for me, to better understand my current state in life; Why I was there? Where it would take me? and What I’m to expect.

My first night in my new apartment, which felt like sleeping in Payless shoebox with a dash of gay to make everything glitter, I had a dream that allowed me put together the pieces of everything that had taken place within the last 2 months, which lead up to my re-location.  In this dream I was in our nations capitol, where from a far it was a beautiful city scape coated in white with beautifully designed buildings that overshadowed the thick grime that ices the streets and its residents. In this dream, I was stuck in one of those useless round-a-bouts that only add an air of pretentiousness, but wreak havoc on traffic (didn’t the city planner think hmmm people from everywhere that never use round a bouts will be coming here maybe we shouldn’t go with confusing circle things).  I was stuck in one of these circles in my car going round and round every time I made it out of the circle I would only find myself right back in it.  Finally I found an exit, that transported me to a bridge, my car had long disappeared and I found my self standing on a beautiful plot of land that over looked dewy green hills.  On these hills there were beautiful homes being built and trees were sprouting all over as if I was witnessing to a birth of a new world.  As I stood there bewildered by my surrounding basking in the golden rays of the sun the beauty slowly faded out of reach and my eyes flickered open. I was back in my new bedroom, on a red sleeping pad, eye level with the laminate faux wood floor; which I thought looked pretty in theory but really? really? could have at least used pergo flooring. Anyway’s I began to ponder about my dream, I was still in that state where in my mind I could see what had happened and was trying to make sense of it all.

I came to the conclusion that the round about represented where I was in life; no real direction, like a compass stuck in an endless spin waiting to be pulled in one direction (ugh! I can never say: “one direction” again without thinking about those annoying twat faced-feather haired teeny boppers lol). Anyways, coming out of what I considered my comfort zone into this new land being birthed, represented my move, the sprouting of new trees and houses represented the new and hopeful future I was building currently for myself. When I came to that realization I told myself everything would be ok and that I was exactly where I was supposed to be in life, theres no better affirmation in life than getting one from the universe.

2 thoughts on “The Affirmation

  1. I jumped off the ledge of a career to travel the world a little over a year ago and never looked back. Your writing reminds me of the affirmations that began showing up from the Universe both in dreams and through spirit animals that crossed my path. The more I keep tuned into listening to the Universe, more and more messages have come. It sounds like you’re actually headed in “one direction” even though it seems you’re on a round-about! Keep pushing forward! Carpe Diem!!

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